Attitude Toward Sin: Flippant or Inevitable?

I can't tell you how many times I hear a speaker attest to the wonderful things God has done in his or her life. The speaker is very passionate, gets emotional when discussing previous sinful state, and joyfully announces the victory found in Christ. The audience feels a great sense of hope and encouragement from this talk, especially when it concludes with a crescendo of passion such as "God saved me from my life of sin so that I may live a life in freedom and serve Him! Praise God!" There is an appropriately animated response of Praise God indeed. But then -- as if this is an obligatory and mandatory addendum to the speaker's testimony, he or she will say (lest they are thought of as arrogant) -- "I'm still imperfect, that's a given -- I mean, we're all still sinners" to which the audience will reply with applause and hearty head bobs. Yet, I bury my head in sadness. Why do we prize sinfulness and assume it is a necessary part of the Christian life? What should the Christian attitude be toward sin?

You might be thinking, "What's the big deal? What the speaker said is absolutely true!" The reason I get so upset when people have this flippant attitude toward sin is because it's 1) confusing to unbelievers 2) misleading to believers and 3) blasphemous to God (therefore not true). I don't mean to offend those who have ascribed to this belief all their lives, so bear with me as I explain. Again, this is a good time for me to say that if you have any issues with my analysis, please feel free to email me or talk to me.

The modern Christian church teaches that sin is inevitable and it is likely a daily part of the Christian walk. Lately confession of sin has been mistaken for humility; saying that you are not a sinner is akin to saying you believe in works-based salvation (i.e. others find you blasphemous and proud and will quote 1 John 1:8 at you). No, they will say, the proper thing to do in the church is to admit that you sin, confess your sins, and try not to do it again (but you inevitably will – because you’re a sinner). The problem with this flippant attitude, upon closer examination, is that it is unbiblical and wildly hypocritical. There, I said it. Please don’t wag your finger at me and tell me I’m not saved. I am no proponent of the works-based salvation. I simply believe that Christ is serious when He says “Go and sin no more” (John 8:11). Don’t think this is possible? Think this was just something to aspire to? Please continue reading.

Somebody once compared this flippant church attitude to a vegetarian who still eats meat. "I only eat meat when I can't resist it, or when it's more convenient. I'm still a vegetarian, don't get me wrong." But how does this practice look to outsiders? Instead of unbelievers thinking it's great that Christians are not holy rollers, they get disgusted that church-goers call unbelievers out on their sin, deny them marriage rights, and speak out against evil, and yet these so-called Christians still commit the same acts! What's the difference, a few spoken words of commitment? Romans 2:21-24 “you, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that one shall not steal, do you steal? ²²You who say that one should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? ²³You who boast in the Law, through your breaking the Law, do you dishonor God? ²⁴For "THE NAME OF GOD IS BLASPHEMED AMONG THE GENTILES BECAUSE OF YOU," just as it is written.”

It's damaging to both the unbeliever and believer to have a flippant "oh we can't beat it" attitude about sin. It's a very negative and unbiblical view. Jesus is all about freedom! Galatians 5:1 “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” He came to set us free from the bondage of slavery so that we would know the fresh air of righteousness and live to serve Him. Some of the first words of His public ministry were Isaiah 61:1-3 (as seen in Luke 4:18-19 below).

¹⁸"THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME,
BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR.
HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES,
AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND,
TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED,
¹⁹TO PROCLAIM THE FAVORABLE YEAR OF THE LORD."

To say that Christians are free from sin yet still live in it does not make any sense. Think about that statement for a second. How are you set free if you are still enslaved to sin?! It's absurd! It's the biggest lie of Satan. Jesus tells us we cannot serve two masters as shown in Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other You cannot serve God and wealth.” John reiterates it in 1 John 3: 6-9 “No one who abides in Him sins; no one who sins has seen Him or knows Him. ⁷Little children, make sure no one deceives you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous; ⁸the one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil. ⁹No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.”

It is NOT inevitable for Christians to sin! What flesh we had that hindered us is now crucified and removed; there is nothing barring us from following Jesus with all of our hearts, minds, souls, and strength!

Galatians 5:19-24
¹⁹Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,²⁰idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions,²¹envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. ²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.²⁴Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

I've seen a popular quote from Blaise Pascal: "There are two kinds of men: the righteous, who believe themselves sinners; & sinners who believe themselves righteous." Yet the Bible says, "Little children, make sure no one deceives you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous." (1 John 3:7) A truly righteous man knows he is righteous. The Bible states it plainly. Pascal's intention was probably influenced by a bit of Truth. It's true that the only way Christians are righteous is because they've accepted Christ (therefore admitting they were unrighteous), allowed Him to purify them, and then walk in righteousness with the Holy Spirit's leading. You cannot be righteous by your own works. Those who have not accepted Christ, who believe they need no redemption, are the unrighteous who believe they are righteous. This is what is meant by 1 John 1:5-9 “This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. ⁶If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; ⁷but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. ⁸If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

When you read this passage in context, it is a gospel message, but I frequently hear 1 John 1:8 used to say “see? Christians still sin!” In order to be redeemed, you have to be redeemed of something. All have sinned (Romans 3:23) but those who accept Christ are purified and do not keep on sinning. To say otherwise is to say you walk in light and yet you walk in darkness as shown in 1 John above. 1 John 2:3-6 ^“By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. ⁴The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; ⁵but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected By this we know that we are in Him: ⁶the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.”

I am so very passionate about this topic because I believe the current teachings and attitudes about sin are straight from Satan himself. It's a disturbing thought, that the blind are leading the blind. My friends, do not serve Satan, do not even say you serve him. Make your testimony "I have been redeemed and freed from sin" and keep it at that! God gives you a way out of every temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13) and He fights the battles for us. For goodness' sake, Jesus has already won! Live in victory and freedom, please do not allow Satan to ensnare any part of your heart. If you are a child of God, you are free. You are no longer enslaved to sin. It is not inevitable! That is the real gospel message! Praise God for His unending grace, His promise of life and freedom, and His sacrifice on the cross that makes all of this possible.

A Charge to Young Women

This was written by my favorite author. I hope you enjoy! He said "Anyone who wants to post this on blogs, websites, Facebook notes, etc, is free to do so. Please keep my name attached."

A Charge to Young Women
By Bryan Davis (http://www.dragonsinourmidst.com/ChargetoYoungWomen.pdf)

She is born with a passion to uplift, empower, and support. She is the mainstay and sail for the captain’s ship. She is the heat in the warrior’s resolve and the salve that heals his wounds. She is the heart that pumps vitality to every joint and sinew. Yes, she is a woman.

Every girl in existence has been lovingly fashioned—from her caring and sensitive brain, to her tender and compassionate hands, to her tireless feet—to be a pillar of strength and resolve. While she might not be a warrior who draws a sword, she is the healer who strengthens the warrior’s hands and heart. Without her, every weapon would drop in futility, every muscular arm would wilt, and every pair of tired legs would shuffle home in defeat, for the heart that drives the warrior forward has stopped beating.

Some young women choose to take up the sword themselves, to step out alone in the midst of darkness to carry a lantern to the lost, to battle oppression and bring relief to the abused and neglected, or to transport life-giving supplies to the destitute wherever they may be. Their partner is the Spirit of Christ, and their sword is His word. They must know Him well if they hope to shine His light and pierce the darkness without the help of an intimate human partner.

Speak the truth. Live the truth. Be the truth. Never let the faithless ones persuade you to abandon any of those three principles. Remember that you are an oracle of fire, as is every faithful follower of our Lord. For all true disciples possess the pure silver, purged of all dross, and the fire of God’s love burns within, an everlasting flame that others, even those who merely give lip-service to the truth, will never comprehend until you are able to pass along that fire from heart to heart.

Many girls will choose to partner with another in this pursuit, hoping to be the light, the energy, and the drive that pulses within the breast of another. Yet, some never discover what it means to be such a heart. They never learn the secret of the captain’s sail or the recipe of the healing salve. Why? Because they listen to a counterfeit call, a trumpet blaring a falsehood—that their beauty is a lure to capture rather than an inspiration to set free. The inner desire to help and support becomes a lust to take and own. The hope to hear words of affirmation that she has been a good and faithful helpmate transforms into a hopeless search for eyes that admire and lips that speak words of appreciation for her outward appearance rather than for the beauty of her soul. And such a search never ends in true satisfaction.

You, however, are listening to your creator’s call, a gentle voice within that whispers reminders of how you were really fashioned, to be a woman of virtue, of inner beauty, of priceless value. The trumpet announces your need to strut, expose, and seduce, while the inner voice sings of ways to dress your soul in virtue—to feed the hungry, cover those laid bare, infuse encouragement into the hearts of the downtrodden, and nurture the victims of poverty, disease, and abandonment.

As a young woman of virtue, you understand what will happen if you heed the trumpet’s call to lure with flesh and flair. You will draw attention, but from whom? Someone who values face and form but not the heart. He will take, use, and abuse. His desire is for his own benefit, because what his eyes perceive is a girl who offers to fulfill the cravings of his body, and he responds, not with love, but with lust for his own satisfaction. And when your flower of youth fades, he will not perceive value in your soul, and you will never achieve the holy union of hearts for which you were created.

If you listen to the creator’s call, you will suffer temporary loss. When you pour out compassion and pity instead of skin and superficiality, you will be considered old-fashioned, out-of-touch, a prude. Yet, within the fair bosom you are saving for a true warrior, you will be nurturing a heart of unspoiled beauty, for it has not been taken at a cheap price. It has not been hardened by a wolf who captures, abuses, and leaves. And with such a heart, you will be able to reach out and be the captain’s sail, the warrior’s reason for drawing his sword, and the soothing salve for hearts less whole than your own.

The heart of a woman is more precious than pearls, and a man of worth sees it as a priceless treasure. He knows that she is the energy that drives his purpose, and without her, the pursuit of his vision for God’s purpose will be sluggish indeed. For the honor of taking that heart to join with him in fulfilling that vision, he will give his life, his heart, and his soul. The woman who has prepared her heart for that adventure will never regret the small price she paid. Scorn fades, and satisfaction blossoms. Contempt crumbles to dust, and contentment rises in its place. Ridicule is forgotten, while refreshment of the soul lives for as long as the heart pumps its life-giving energy.

Whether you take up the sword yourself or choose to unite with a warrior, now is the time to live according to this standard. It might seem that you are walking the path alone, yet, you are never alone. The One who planted the heart within you will never leave your side, and He will continue to sing the song that fashioned you as a woman of virtue. Listen. It is there. You will have to tune out the surrounding noise, but the sounds of love and virtue will never be silenced, if only you know the Singer and His song.

The Importance of Forgiveness: Part 3 -- The Unrepentent

I recommend reading The Importance of Forgiveness Parts 1 and 2 before reading this particular blog. Part 1 is about the definition of forgiveness; Part 2 is the definition of true repentance; and Part 3 will deal specifically with the unrepentant. What do Christians do when somebody refuses to repent? There are several different underlying factors when a person does not repent (ie recognize and change sinful behavior). Are we still required to forgive the person even if they have not yet asked for forgiveness? It is impossible to forgive somebody if they have not yet asked for forgiveness. Is there something to forgive? Yes. But how can it be done if there is no repentance? Jesus says in Luke 17:3-4 " Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him." Again, forgiveness is the act of pardoning a person's sins or mistakes and not holding it against them ever again; repentance is the act of changing a behavior (or sin) as a result of remorse or contrition for that behavior (or sin).

I think it's fantastic and heart-warming when a Christian proclaims to the world that they have forgiven the person(s) responsible for murdering their loved ones. It is a bold statement, it is honorable, and it certainly sheds a good light on Christianity. However, I would argue that it is not the exact model of forgiveness the way our Lord lays it out. Before God forgives us, we must come to Him, renounce our ways, and ask Him to pardon us for our sins. Then He faithfully and lovingly forgives us and cleanses us from our sin. What did He do before we asked for forgiveness? He made it clear that He wanted to forgive us. (Matthew 18:14 "So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish.") He showed us how wrong our behavior was, and promised us that He would cleanse us from it and teach us to change it. But He did not forgive us until we asked for it. If God forgave everyone for sins before they asked for it, they would have no need to repent and they would go to Heaven. That is the doctrine of the Universalists, which is completely unBiblical and wrong.

Now, just because a Christian does not have to officially forgive a person unless that person repents, that does not mean the Christian is allowed to harbor anger in their heart toward the person. In fact, Jesus says this in Matthew 5:43-44: "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you." A Christian must be ready to forgive a person as soon as they ask for it the same way Jesus is ready to forgive a sinner when a sinner repents. Jesus does not say, "No, I can't forgive you yet -- I'm still ticked about the way you used my name in vain." It is essential for a Christian's heart to be prepared to forgive a person the moment they ask for forgiveness! Since we do not know when a person will ask for forgiveness, our hearts must always be willing to forgive, that is, pardoning a person's sins and not ever holding it against them again. Christians do not have the liberty of holding a grudge or reveling in anger. Sometimes a person will ask for forgiveness when you did not even realize they sinned against you. I remember back when my fiance (at that time my boyfriend) and I asked for forgiveness from his parents for lying to them about something for years. They had no idea, and yet they forgave us on the spot. They were still crushed and heartbroken, but they pardoned us and did not ever hold a grudge or use it against us. That is a model of God's forgiveness. It is awe-inspiring to know that we, once sinners, came to the Father in humility and asked to be forgiven -- and He did it! Our sins are no more and He does not count them against us. Praise be to God for His love!

Here's a sticky situation: What do we do when a friend who professes Christianity sins against God and does not repent? You've probably known a person like this. Perhaps it is a person in your Sunday School who occasionally lies, or a college buddy in your Fellowship who is an underage drinker. Most of the time these kinds of people are not unwilling to repent -- most of the time they say they really want to repent but just end up sinning again in some way. We should not, as some claim, "cut them some slack because we all sin too". This statement really gets me upset. It's about the most hypocritical statement I've ever heard in my life. Not only should we not excuse sin, we should not engage in it! Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? May it never be! How can we who died to sin still live in it? (Romans 6:1-2) No, the proper response would be to go to your friend in love and try to help them correct their behavior so that they may be reconciled to God. Normally this involves many interventions, late-night chats, Bible studies, and accountability partners. Ask your spiritual leaders for help, for they will undoubtedly have good ideas about disciplining a brother. Jesus gives us some instructions in Matthew 18:15-17 "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican." It's pretty straight-forward. For the most part, the person in question will only get to Stage Two before they wise up and taking measures to stop sinning.

If you know somebody who has surpassed Stages 1 and 2 of Jesus' Helpful Guide to Bringing Back the Unrepentant, then this person is probably in deeper darkness than you initially realized. Commit them to serious prayer. They need it. This person is in great spiritual danger and might need to experience a very hardcore kind of love. If a person calls him or herself a Christian and obviously lives a life contrary to God's standards and refuses to change, even after countless hours of pleading and explaining why their lifestyle choices are unBiblical, you and your church are required to cut that person out of the church as a last resort. That seems quite harsh and almost contrary to the modern (albeit Biblical) exhortations to love that person no matter what. But here's the kicker: sometimes kicking a person out of the church is the most loving thing you can do. Paul talks about this extensively in 1 Corinthians 5. Verse 5 specifically explains why this is a loving act. "I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." This person is obviously not saved, but thinks they are. Paul even refers to this kind of person later in the chapter as a "so-called brother". This is the most dangerous spiritual state to be in. If a person believes they are saved when they are really not, they have no incentive to change their ways or repent. They believe they are forgiven already and going to Heaven when really they are doomed to Hell.

Here is an instance of this in Matthew 7:18-23 --
A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you;DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'

Paul, like Jesus, talks about not associating with a so-called Christian in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 --
"I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; ¹⁰I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. ¹¹But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one. ¹²For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? ¹³But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES." (CAPS part of NASB version)

While the modern church has it right that we are to love those who wrong us, we must attempt to correct their sins for their sakes. This is love in the most heart-wrenching form. To outsiders and to the person described in 1 Corinthians 5, this does not look like love. If you or your church feels called to carry out the actions of 1 Corinthians 5 as a last resort, it will be painful and difficult, especially if that person is a loved one. But God calls us to love others more than ourselves. How can we love someone if we refuse to tell them their sin will doom them to hell? How can we love someone if we sit back idly and allow a person to sin because it is easier and safer for us to ignore the issue? That is not love; that is selfishness. It is also heresy. If a so-called Christian blasphemes God's holy name by claiming to be a holy child of God and yet refuses to repent -- what does that say about our perfect and holy God?! How does that look to non-believers? If you refuse to cut a person like this out of their life because you love them so much you couldn't bear to see them in pain, then you are treading into dangerous territory. Jesus says in Matthew 10: 37 "He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me." Take care that your love is agape love, as shown in 1 Corinthians 13, not the kind of false love that stifles a person's well-being for your own sake.

This is a difficult topic, especially since I have a loved one in this situation. I do not write this because I enjoy the idea of cutting out those who defile God's name. I do this out of love, the kind of love that requires me to love another more than myself, to put their salvation as my top priority. It is a love that "does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth" (1 Cor 13:6). This kind of love requires absolute faith in God's holy Word, trust in His judgment, and absolute reliance on His wisdom. God knows best, and if He says we should do something a specific way, it is because He has a good reason. Oh how glorious that day will be with the unrepentant finally humble themselves before the Lord!

The Importance of Forgiveness: Part 2 -- does God forgive future sins?

One of my previous blogs discussed the definition of forgiveness and some Bible passages on the subject. I titled it "The Importance of Forgiveness" and I recommend you read that first before you read this one, which will discuss what to do in situations where a person refuses to repent even when they should. You can find it here http://thegodfiles-hewhohasears.blogspot.com/2009/07/importance-of-forgiveness.html at that link or search for the July 4 post. Many thanks to my readers who suggested that I discuss this thought-provoking and sometimes controversial topic. I must introduce a difficult theological subject in order to write about how God wants us to treat those who do not repent. If God overlooks and forgives future sins, as so many believe, then Christians would be required to do the same thing to their fellow believers, meaning many Biblical passages will be rendered obsolete and my argument faulty. So I must debunk the illogical argument before presenting my views on this subject. I am well aware that my views are unpopular and very different from modern Christianity, so I hope you will continue reading despite your initial reservations. If you wish to argue why my beliefs are incorrect or unBiblical, I urge you to do so in the comment area or by e-mailing me at thegodfiles@gmail.com.

Let me first define true repentance: the act of changing a behavior (or sin) as a result of remorse or contrition for that behavior (or sin). Notice how I made the most important part of that sentence "the act of changing". In today's version of Christianity repentance is merely a form of false remorse, where the sinner feels slightly guilty for his or her behavior and continues to do it even though they know it is wrong. That is not true repentance. If you truly repent for your behavior you will change it. Imagine this scenario: a robber is in the middle of cleaning out a bank vault and you come along to stop his heist. "I'm terribly sorry, I know it's a horrible thing to do," the robber says, "please forgive me. I'd say that I won't do it again, but I know I will, so please forgive me for that too." Then he turns around and continues to rob the vault while you watch in horror at his blatant hypocrisy. This scenario seems absurd, but it is a sad representation of modern Christianity's views on redemption.

Tell me, if God forgives you for your future sins, what is the point of asking for forgiveness? Why would God tell you that you are freed from sin and demand you to live in holiness if He really means that you will be sinning for the rest of your life? Are you telling me that any professing believer who commits adultery and rapes children without repenting of it will go to Heaven because at one point in their life they said the prayer that was supposed to give them salvation? If you say no to that, then why not? If God truly forgives a person for all past, present, and future sins, then an unrepentant murderer, rapist, and adulterer will go to Heaven. Some would protest to this by saying, "but a Christian would not do those things!" All I have to say to that, is EXACTLY. Neither would a Christian steal, lie, cheat, get drunk, or sin in any other way. God's Word is absolute, and He says this:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 John 3:5-6
And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.

Some will say to this, "Christians are covered by God's grace, so they don't count when the Bible says 'those who practice this will not go to Heaven'". I will just blink open-mouthed at the absurdity of that statement. There is no contradiction in God's Word. Those who practice these things (sins) will not inherit the kingdom of God, and those who are of God do not practice sin. Therefore, those who are of God do not sin and inherit the kingdom. Do you really think God is going to take an unrepentant child molester into Heaven? What makes you think He'll take a liar? Even Revelation makes the distinction between those who follow God's commandments and those who still sin: Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

His grace empowers us to overcome all sin and Jesus says He will cleanse us of it completely. We don't have to do anything but obey Jesus, for He fights the battles for us and He rids us of sin! I am not suggesting that a person can lose salvation, what I am suggesting is that Christians are not given liberty to sin when God so clearly instructs otherwise. I believe that those who do not turn from their sinful ways never truly repented, and are therefore not saved. To say that those who merely recite the "sinner's prayer" and never change their lives are going to Heaven is a complete lie. Hebrews 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. (Go to this link to understand my views on sin http://thegodfiles-hewhohasears.blogspot.com/2009/06/problem-of-sin.html. I believe it is only ever a conscious decision made in rebellion; I do not consider sin to be an accident or mere lack of knowledge. It is willful and deliberate defiance of God's Known Law.)

I hope I have not lost you in a grand theological debate. I assure you that my unpopular views on sin and salvation have everything to do with the discussion of unrepentant sinners. You see, if God truly forgives believers for future sins, then the Bible is painstakingly contradictory. It would mean that you and I would be required to "overlook" (as God presumably does) the many sinful actions of our fellow believers. But as I do not believe those who sin ever truly repented, I can continue my commentary in the next blog.

Recipe for a Godly relationship

Much of our culture’s failure with relationships – platonic, familial, and romantic -- has to do with the unbalanced variables that make a good relationship successful. There are many variables to a relationship. Some are necessary while others are over-exaggerated or non-existent. I believe the variables I have listed below are the universally most important (for Christians and non-Christians alike, though non-Christians might disagree with the first one listed). There are several other variables that could fit under the umbrella of a generalized one that I have listed. If you believe my list should be modified, please comment and let me know. My list comes purely from my own limited observations as well as my personal relationships; needless to say, my way is not the only successful way.

This is the recipe for a healthy, Godly Relationship:

1) Christ. Both of you need to have your own personal relationship with Christ as well as a relationship centered on Christ as a couple. This is the most essential aspect of a Christian relationship for obvious reasons. If you desire to follow Christ and your relationship does not meet His standards, something has gone terribly wrong. Friendships cannot be based on deceit or personal gain and romance is never selfish or impure.

2) Respect. This is where the idea of a wife submitting to her husband comes in, as well as the husband’s demands to love his wife as himself (see my previous blogs titled The Taboo Words: Submit and Obey). If you don’t respect your husband enough to trust him and obey him, why on earth did you marry him? If you don’t respect your wife enough to cherish her and treat her like one of God’s precious daughters, why did you bother marrying her and vowing to do so? Respect is also a vital part of a deep friendship. You should respect your friend enough to tell them when you find them at fault or even encourage them when they make a difficult decision and do something correctly. This then leads into the next vital component relationship.

3) Honesty. Communication is key to any part of a relationship. You must communicate your feelings, your decisions, and your differences in order to maintain a solid relationship. If a friend, family member, or spouse asks you for your opinion you should not lie to them to make them feel better, nor should you exaggerate the truth. The best option is to always tell the truth without any sort of falsehood; however, this does not mean one can disregard basic etiquette and speak harshly without restraint.

4) Love. Love is defined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NASB ) this way: “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” Love is necessary in all relationships, especially if Christ is involved, for He is love. 1 John 4:8 says “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” In our society where love is equivalent to mere lust it is awkward to think about platonic love existing between friends in a pure way. But I hope you would treat your friend with kindness and forgive them for their wrongs just as you would a spouse.

I chose not to list other common variables in a relationship, like physical intimacy or emotional intimacy. My reason being that a romantic couple should still treat each other with love, honesty, and respect whether sex is in the picture or not. Sex is an important part of a marriage but without it the marriage will survive. The marriage will not do well if honesty, love, and respect are not in the picture. You could argue that a relationship will be fine without Christ at the center, but chances are that relationship would be ten times better if the two people involved were completely dedicated to Christ’s model of perfect love and selflessness.

Perhaps you have never seen a healthy, Godly relationship modeled for you properly. Let me assure you that it is possible! God would not demand something of us that is impossible to achieve; that would be illogical. I recommend you get to know a Godly older couple in your area that can model for you what a true relationship ought to look like. Every couple will have disagreements in their lifetime, but they should not fight or yell or assert their power over the other. Most people will accidentally hurt the feelings of their significant other with something they say, but it should never be intentional to hurt another or tear them down. Love builds up and encourages in Truth – to do anything else would be a cheap imitation of love and therefore a lie. Do not be deceived by Satan.

If both people are dedicating their lives to putting their significant other’s needs before their own, they will have a very solid and happy relationship. Selflessness on both ends only leads to a Christ-like relationship. If love is in the center, it will not fail.

The Taboo Words: Submit and Obey (Part 2)

Our society believes that if you are not the one in authority over a group of people, you are disposable and therefore less important. The boss of a company is treated with the utmost respect while the entry level employee is treated with disdain. If you are serving rather than being served, you are worthless. When America bought into this lie women were viewed as “less important” than men; they were seen as weak, unintelligent, and replaceable. Feminists worked hard to react against these lies by proving to men that they could do all the things men could do, sometimes even better. It is far from Biblical for a servant to be seen as unimportant or for a woman to be viewed as anything less than a priceless treasure. God’s Word also says those in a position of authority have the final say, but they should not arrogantly reign over those following them; they support, guide, and serve those on their team. This idea of humbly leading and submitting is a picture of the Trinity and is our model for marriage as well.

How the Trinity functions:

God the Father has the ultimate authority over everything. It is by His grace and will that we even breathe. Although God has the final say, it is possible for Him to change His mind if requested of Him. Some people might be upset at me for saying this, for they believe God is unchanging in every meaning of the word and the future is set in stone. I, however, do not believe our destinies are set and I believe through prayer and intercession God will allow us to change lives. Just read Genesis 18:17-33 for an astonishing account of Abraham’s intercession on behalf of the Sodomites.

Jesus the Son submits to His Father’s will in perfect obedience. Everything He does is in accordance with His Father’s will, as He says often throughout the Gospels. In Matthew 28:18 Jesus says, “All authority has been given to me in Heaven and on Earth.” Clearly Jesus is not less important than God (indeed they are the same God!), but Jesus understands and respects that He is to follow the Will of the Father. Jesus is also an example of a servant-leader, one who has authority but chooses to wield it for the benefit of his people rather than for self-gain. He models humble leading for the disciples when He washes their feet. If God will humble Himself to wash a sinner’s feet, surely a woman can humble herself to submit to a worthy man!

The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God residing in Christians, and therefore cleanses the soul of sin and instructs Believers in how to walk a Christ-driven life. The Holy Spirit also changes the hearts of non-believers so that they will be led to God and ultimately submit to His Will. I think of the Spirit as carrying out the Will of the Father by interceding on our behalf, as stated in Romans 8:26.

There is perfect harmony within the Trinity. The Godhead actively models leadership, submission, and intercession. Jesus submits to God, yet Jesus is equally important as God. That is because God is Triune; three persons but one being. Likewise, when a man and woman marry they become one person, or one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Let us see what the Bible has to say about submission and authority between a man and his wife.

Controversial Bible passages:
Ephesians 5:22-33 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Colossians 3:18-19 18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.

People tend to concentrate only on the “wives submit to your own husbands” and less on the requirements for the men. Many think it unfair that a woman should sit back silently and allow the male to make all of the decisions. But that’s the problem: that is not what submission means! Submission is a beautiful act of respect; it means that the one submitting has complete faith in the abilities of the leader -- it is the decision to honor the judgment of the leader. It does not mean that the one submitting does not get to help make decisions, does not get to disagree, and is unequal in terms of importance. Jesus submits to God and is not any less important than God.

Women are basically instructed to trust their men, honor them, and respect their God-given authority. If the husband is a man of God, there should be no problems with this. Why would any woman be upset with a man who loved her like his own body, was never bitter toward her, and protects her against evil forces? This does not sound like a bad deal to me! It sounds like a perfect and romantic relationship, one that is modeled by God Himself.

Many of you are probably protesting by now with “but men don’t act like this! So why should we submit to them?” If you are an unmarried woman, do not get involved with a man who does not follow Christ. A man who does not submit to Christ is not worth submitting to. He will not cherish you the way Christ would, he will not selflessly give of himself for your sake, and he will not encourage you to make yourself spotless in Christ’s eyes. How could he when he worships sin rather than God?

If you are married to an unbeliever, I recommend you read this Bible passage: 1 Peter 3:1-7 1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Whether he is a Christian or not, you must still obey him. It is possible he will see the light of Christ in you and become a believer, as 1 Peter says. Just remember that God’s authority comes first, no matter what earthly authority you are under. If your father or husband demands that you do something God would not approve of, you are required to obey God rather than a man. If your husband or father abuses you and your family members, you are not required to stay put and hope that he will one day turn into a Christian. Protect yourself and your family, and go get help. I would never recommend divorce, but separation is permissible in situations like adultery or abuse.

My next blog will discuss what the ideal, Christian marriage should look like. It is possible for a man to cherish his wife and for a wife to lovingly submit to his will. It is possible for a man to use his authority to be a servant for his wife rather than a chauvinist tyrant. It is possible for a woman to be happy that her capable husband and teammate has the final say. For nothing is impossible with God, especially if He demands it of us!

The Taboo Words: Submit and Obey (Part 1)

The most taboo words I ever heard as a woman growing up were “submit” and “obey”, both of which are frequently used to describe the good Christian wife. The modern female American hates those words. If she does not hate them, she must be controlled by a religious chauvinist pig. As usual, society has a warped idea of what those words mean and react in an unbiblical manner to eradicate them from our lives. Some of my family is very worried that my husband will be very controlling and that I will have no say in the marriage. When I explain that a man and wife always discuss things when they disagree and come to an answer that way, they say "that sounds good, but what about when you still don't agree? Who makes the decision then?" They've got a problem with the man having a final say, or authority, in a relationship. This kind of attitude is not limited to my family; this attitude is throughout America. What changed in our society to make it normal for a woman to lead a relationship? What kind of falsehoods permeate our brains to make women believe all men are inept at leading and are only power-hungry fools?

America believes that every man, woman, and child are created equally regardless of race, gender, religious beliefs, etc. This statement itself is ridiculous, but the intent behind it is not. Every human on this earth is equally important in God's eyes -- we were all, man and woman, created in God's image, and if any one of us sins and does not ask for redemption we will go to Hell. That is how we are equal. But to say "we are created equally" means that women can be just as strong as men and men can bear children. These are physical impossibilities, of course. Likewise, there are universally marked differences between a man and woman's behavior. Women tend to be more compassionate, more motherly, more emotionally-driven. Men tend to be more logical, more assertive, more of a leader. Now, not ALL women are like that and not ALL men have those qualities, and oftentimes a woman can be both compassionate and assertive, or a man can be both a leader and emotionally-driven. This is no secret; I am merely stating the pattern of male and female behavior from the past several thousand years.

Women's liberation believes women should be able to do all the things men do, and that includes having equally important careers and leadership roles. I agree that women were being held back from their potential and treated unfairly; however, the kinds of ideas that came out of women's lib are far from Christ-like. Women's lib believes that women are equal to men the way the statement makes it sound; if men can do it, women can do it too and should, often at the cost of losing the qualities that make a woman "womanly". While it is true that many women are capable leaders and think logically, it is a falsehood to assert that every woman should be expected to cast aside all qualities of womanhood and become a female in a man's role. This has lead to generations of confused women who are attempting to usurp the men and "do it all" by raising the kids and working the high-brow career. The social shift has only begotten generations of inept males and dissatisfied women who, instead of fighting for their rights as women, fought for their rights to be exactly like a man. This is far from liberating.

Why did most women fall into this trap? I believe there are three big sinful motivations for women coveting the man’s position:

Lust for Power. The Original Sin was lust for power. The only thing Adam and Eve did not have, as Satan put it, was the ability to "be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:5) Be like God, huh? What did that mean for Eve? Did that mean she could elevate her status? She wanted Adam to partake in eating the apple as well, but what was her motivation? I wonder if she wanted Adam to share in the power with her or if she simply did not want to be alone in her sin. She and Adam were perfectly balanced in their roles as man and wife, so she did not feel the need to usurp Adam; no, she wanted more power, more authority, and the only way to do this was to be like God. After the fall, God cursed Eve with this dreaded text in Genesis 3:16: “Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Oh no! So with sin in the picture, relationships are now inevitably unbalanced. Man has the authority, the power, and women will always want that power, but they will always want the male too. This leads to the next situation.

Fear. Since the men have the power over the woman, some women are afraid that the man will abuse his responsibilities and manipulate the situation so he can keep the woman down. With sin in the picture, this is a very likely scenario. It has happened too many times to count. When women hear about this kind of unfairness and abuse, it makes them want to change something. Here is the next situation.

Dissatisfaction in male leadership. Just as Eve lusted after power, Adam sinned by refusing to counsel her against her sin, joining her in it, and then blaming her for his indiscretions. Does this sound familiar? Many men have proven themselves to be incapable leaders, especially politicians or church leaders and their sexual affairs. After so much failure a woman wants to fix the situation. Instead of encouraging the males in the godly way, many women nagged them to the point of discouraging them from ever wanting to lead properly. Once these tactics failed, those women decided that men are bad at leading and they should do it themselves.

While these fears are often valid, the ways women usurp men is wrong. Society began to turn in favor of the dissatisfied woman and made men the brunt of the jokes. Men are now portrayed as lazy, inept, and perverted who are only good for bringing in some income, lifting heavy boxes, and making babies. Men are good-for-nothings in today’s society. They are easy to manipulate, nag, and seduce, and that is the way many women like them: easily controllable.

Now women have what they worked so hard to achieve, and they find out they are unhappy in their current situation. This is not surprising to me. In my next blog, I will discuss what a Christian marriage should look like in terms of authority and submission. Why are men the ones to lead? What does it mean to lead? What does it mean to submit? If women are not leading, what are they to do? I will answer these questions within Biblical context.