Media portrayal as it relates to intimate relationships
Women are only considered mature when they are sexual objects, to be conquered and appraised. Women should appreciate the attention, as it gives them a better selection of mates. Do you ever notice that female child stars will not be given older roles in movies unless they "put out" first? Female singers dress like strippers and the ultimate beauty contest has women walking around in bikinis onstage. The mark of a woman's worth is her transparent sexuality.
Young men are typically portrayed as glamorous womanizers, marking their masculinity by "conquering" the most females. Middle-aged men are shown as disgruntled and sexually dissatisfied husbands who seek elsewhere to fulfill their needs; the majority of movies and TV shows I have seen portray this in a negative light, but this behavior has become more socially acceptable in recent years on TV and real life.
Consequences: I already discussed some consequences of a sex-drenched media in my earlier blog, "Effects of the Media: Part 2 -- Warped Love and Sexuality". Among the divorce rates and rampant rise in sexually transmitted diseases, there is an insatiable thirst for sex. Sex was never meant to be the thing to base a relationship on or to find fulfillment in; however, our society has made everything sexual in a vain attempt to find lasting satisfaction. Sex is glamorized in the media and gives people a false sense of its true purpose and function, ultimately disappointing the millions who believed it to be a necessary and lasting proponent of a relationship. "15To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled. 16They profess to know God, but by their deeds they deny Him, being detestable and disobedient and worthless for any good deed." Titus 1:15-16
Media portrayal as it relates to work and the home
Women must react against the chauvinist pigs and propel their worthiness by refusing to be "just a mother". Women must hold down a demanding job while nearly single-handedly rearing their children into responsible adults. They typically feel resentment toward their husband, who is either too focused on his career or not enough. This leaves the wives feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed with juggling duties. The wife finds solace in asserting her intelligence; after all, what are husbands good for if she does it all?
Men are inept at raising children and allow the children to do precisely what the mother said not to do, as long as they keep it a secret. The men feel trapped in a career they no longer love and must remain in it to support the growing family and the demands of a materialistic life; conversely, they love their career too much and neglect their family emotionally while providing for them physically. Most of the time the men feel like they deserve something for their sacrifices. When the wife does not provide this "something", whether it be sex or respect, they seek elsewhere to find it.
Consequences: Marriages are more of a business transaction than a relationship. The husband and wife resent each other and feel trapped in a loveless, draining marriage based entirely on rearing children. There is no unity among husband and wife, no lasting affection, and no respect. 22"Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray the Lord that, if possible, the intention of your heart may be forgiven you. 23For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bondage of iniquity." Acts 8:22-23
The new "norm" of society due to the media portrayals: Do it all, be it all
Men are expected to sow their wild oats, lead a monogamous life, and inevitably stray. They are expected to be dangerous, exciting, able to make decisions but defer to the woman (lest they be called a chauvinist). The men must also tap into their feminine side by improving their communication skills; however, if they do this they must be gay. Men must be perfect gentlemen and open doors for women, but if they do they must believe women are weaker!
Women are expected to be as sexually appealing as they can be to attract the straying men, ensnare them with their womanly wiles, have children to trap the men into a monogamous lifestyle, raise successful children while holding down a demanding career.
The men in our world are being thrown contradicting half-lies. They are always receiving criticism and never respect or encouragement. Instead of being encouraged to lead, they must be submissive so that the equality of their relationship with their wife is never questioned by outsiders. But if they don't make decisions they are considered weak. The men cannot win! Why should they even bother trying? The women in our world have always suffered from low self-esteem and crippling doubt. The one thing women have that men do not is their alluring sexuality. Women know they can typically succeed in manipulating men with their sexual advances. "And I discovered more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are chains. One who is pleasing to God will escape from her, but the sinner will be captured by her." Ecclesiastes 7:26 While they have been treated unfairly in the past, women now equate anything that men typically do that women are not encouraged to do with inequality and chauvinism. This can range from legitimate concerns about prejudice in the workforce to paranoid complaints about men automatically paying for dinner. In their search for equality and freedom, women found slavery to the belief that they can be just like men -- only better.
"It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is a distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Woman can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the human race. And femininity has its limitations. So has masculinity." Elisabeth Elliot, Let me be a Woman
What if?
But what if the majority of America did not look like this? What if Christians took a noble stand and defied the media and public expectations? It would look a lot like this:
"2Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance. 3Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. 6Likewise urge the young men to be sensible;7in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, 8sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us." Titus 2: 2-8
"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." 2 Timothy 2: 24-26
"9How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word." Psalm 119:9
Why is this not so easy?
8"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. 10Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. 12Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:8-12
"18For speaking out arrogant words of vanity they entice by fleshly desires, by sensuality, those who barely escape from the ones who live in error, 19promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. 20For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. 21For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them." 2 Peter 2:18-21 (bold mine)
" 9But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" Galatians 4:9
We must speak out against the media when it spouts lies. If a TV show says that women are entitled to view men as sexual objects because men do it to women, I encourage you to speak out against it at the appropriate time. Even just a "well that's horrible" will stick in a person's mind and make them wonder why you disliked that statement. They might think you take things too seriously or they might get into a conversation because of it. More than just speaking out against it, we must model the Biblical approach to our relationships, work and home lives. We cannot defeat evil by encouraging evil; we must fight it with Truth.
May God grant you the strength you need to appropriately fight media's lies.
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