Effects of the Media: Part 2 -- Warped Love and Sexuality

Love is such an expansive topic, I cannot possibly hope to penetrate all of its amazing qualities in one blog. I will concentrate on the way the media twisted the idea and definition of love into lust. For simplicity's sake I will define love based off of 1 Corinthians 13. When I say "love", I am discussing Agape, the long-lasting choice to put your romantic partner's well-being above yours. When the media says "love" they mean Eros, the emotion-based love that is dependent on circumstances. You cannot hope to have a lasting, functional relationship without Agape, but the media suggests that love can survive entirely off of lust, or even Eros. I will show why their portrayals are faulty and how it has affected impressionable viewers.

I must take a position of compassion and righteous anger when it comes to the topic of Warped Love and sexuality. So many people destroyed their lives and the lives of others through their pursuit of Love, or what masquerades as love. My compassion mourns for the souls who have broken hearts and for those who believe their sinful actions are justified all in the name of "love". It seems as though this "love" is rampant throughout the world, reaping destruction and pain in its path. I know this love to be an impostor. Love, by definition, cannot be a thing that destroys; it is the action that builds up those around us. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

When I make an effort to read this definition from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 slowly, I recognize all of the ways the world does not show love the way it is meant to be. The main force that encourages the lies about love is the media. Love is now synonymous with Lust and Self-Absorption. Instead of enduring all things it endures until money gets too tight. It is something to fall in and out of, uncontrollable and based entirely on emotion. What happened to change love from a selfless action into a self-absorbed emotion? Part of it was a yearning for an escape from reality. Love is the most difficult thing to work at, so it is easier to make it seem like it is out of our control. As I surmised in my last blog, the complacency of the viewers contributed greatly. They gave the media one inch and the media took it and sprinted away until all voices either faded out in the distance or joined in. Once the younger generation grew up believing sexuality was a thing to be displayed or bought and love was a cheap dance of meaningless pursuits, the world fell deeper into sin.

These three scenarios are the extremes of media love -- every other possible scenario seems to be a variation of these listed. I will explain the media's portrayal, then show the faulty beliefs (lies) and combat it with truth as it applies to the definition of love (agape) in 1 Corinthian 13.

1) Two lovers meet in a bar, get drunk, and have sex. Their relationship will continue if the sex is good and end abruptly and awkwardly if the sex is bad, assuming they were not too drunk to remember. If they continue in a long relationship, one of them will inevitably "fall in love" with somebody else or have a sexual affair.

• Impressionable lies: People base their relationship entirely off of sexual appeal and satisfaction and find happiness in this. The only reason their relationship failed was because one person was unhappy sexually; therefore, sex is a requirement to make a relationship work.

• Combative truth: A "love" based on how much the partner can pleasure you is not love at all, it is merely sexual attraction and lust. Sex is a natural part of a loving relationship, where two people can entrust their hearts, minds, and bodies to each other in the committed covenant of a marriage. It is not the most important part of a relationship and should not be a "deal maker or breaker".

2) Two lovers fall in love at first sight. Through all challenges they persevere, even when avoiding the root of the problem. They will forsake all else for "true love".

• Lies: Love is based off of first impressions and chemical reactions. True love should come naturally; if it is difficult then it must not be love. Nothing is as important as true love, even if that means going back on your commitments.

• Truth: Love is a decision to act patiently, kindly, becomingly, humbly, selflessly, righteously, truthfully, faithfully, hopefully for all times in all situations no matter what. For most people it takes a lot of work to act in this way toward all people, especially in trying times. True love will not harm another person in order to thrive; it will not forsake its commitments and promises. When celebrities say "I left my wife because I found my true love" they are not acting in a selfless way. They can decide whether to love their wife whether they "feel" something or not.

3) Two people grow closer through their dangerous adventures together. They learn to protect each other and are sometimes willing to sacrifice their own lives to save the other. They can't help falling in love with the person who saved them.

• Lies: Adventure and danger makes a person more appealing. Love is always exciting and you owe it to the person who protects you.

• Truth: Love perseveres through difficulty, it is true, but it is not necessarily a product of difficult times. You choose to love someone whether that person is adventurous or not. Giving your heart to somebody should mean they are worthy of your love and respect. A person who has no morality and who treats the opposite sex as flesh to satisfy their desires is not a worthy candidate for love. They should be shown love the way Jesus loves sinners, but it would be unwise to trust and love a person who does not love anyone but themselves.

Millions of people watch these scenarios play out and do not recognize anything wrong with them; in fact, they believe this alternative to be better than reality and attempt to mirror it in their own lives. Their escape from reality only lasts for 2 hours in a movie, so they take what they perceived and apply it to their own lives and seek to encourage others to do the same. Once society sees how "free" these people are, it models the behavior as the new "norm".

We have hundreds of thousands of desperate people searching for lasting love in a sexual escapade. Why is this such an issue? Because once these people realize that what they have is not love (or they find something better), they want out! The projected divorce rate in America is 50%! http://www.divorcerate.org/ We have a generation of children who believe that love is not lasting, that it is something not to be trusted or even attempted. Children who were affected by adultery (or sexually dissatisfied parents) believe love cannot last without sex, and this idea is only reinforced in the media which they so readily absorb.

Before these children even grow up they are attempting to find love through sexual endeavors. "A study presented in 2008 revealed that around 26% of young American women aged 14-19 are infected with at least one of the four most common sexually transmitted infections. This amounts to around 3.2 million female teenagers. The most widespread infection is HPV (human papilloma virus, which can cause genital warts and cervical cancer), found in 18% of young women. In second place is chlamydia, with a 4% infection rate. The study found that African American teenagers are most severely affected; around 48% of young African American women have an STD, compared to 20% of young white women." http://www.avert.org/stdstatisticusa.htm

How does our brilliant and culturally evolved society attempt to combat these appalling STD statistics? By promoting miracle drugs and getting rid of any programs that promote abstinence. What's more, some people in government are attempting to enforce the HPV vaccine on ALL female girls as a "preventive measure", whether they plan to be involved with a previously sexually active male or not. http://pediatrics.about.com/od/immunizations/a/0207_hpv_school.htm

This affects our society spiritually as well: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. (Ephesians 5:1-5) Oh boy, well this is not very popular.

So what shall we do? Obviously we must follow God's commands and not be swayed by the evil ways of the world. I recommend you read Psalm 37. Besides the beautiful passage regularly quoted "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...." it has this: "The wicked plots against the righteous/ And gnashes at him with his teeth. /The Lord laughs at him, /For He sees his day is coming." Pslam 37:12-13. Honestly, it makes me very relived to know that our God is so powerful He can just laugh at the wicked the way my big brother laughs at me when I try to punch him. The wicked are no force to reckon with when we have God on our side.

Be ready to speak against evil. Your time will come when you must stand up for what you believe in.